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08 December 2008 @ 03:30 pm
lol for creative writing  
so i wrote shane's creative writing homework. this is the product of about 20 minutes


Shane Willey
One Act
Creative Writing
Dr. Turner
08 December 2008
Future Possibilities

Samantha is a female in her late 20s. She is intelligent and quick-witted. She sits alone in a booth of a mostly-empty restaurant. She picks at the collar of her shirt impatiently.
Enter John. He is a male, late 20s early 30s, casually dressed. He looks intentionally disarrayed. He appraoches Samantha.

JOHN: Are you Samantha? Alex said you'd be dressed very professionally.
Samantha smiles, shakes John's extended hand.
SAMANTHA: Yeah, that's me. Emily mentioned you were... carefree.
JOHN: [Laughs]. I've had a busy day. May I sit?
SAMANTHA: Please.
It is silent for a few moments. Samantha laughs nervously.
JOHN: I hate awkward silences. To tell you the truth, I've never done this before.
SAMANTHA: Well, I would believe you, but the truth is, the type of people who say they've never done things before are usually the people who do those things all the time.
JOHN: Touche. So... Samantha, what do you like? What do you do? Tell me all about yourself.
SAMANTHA: If I told you all about myself I'd leave here never knowing a thing about you.
JOHN: Well aren't you just impossible to please?
SAMANTHA: If I weren't, I wouldn't be here right now.
JOHN: I'm okay with that. They told me you'd be... challenging.
SAMANTHA: Oh really? How easily I've become a conquest.
JOHN: (undeterred). Well, I have nothing better to do.
SAMANTHA: (offended). If that's the case, then I DO have other pressing matters, and we can just call this a failure. [Gets up to leave.]
JOHN: Oh, don't go. I apologize for making fun of you. It's just that, you're obviously nervous and perhaps slight embarrassed by even being here. I bet you feel insecure, inadequate and especially better than the type of girl who must resort to blind dates.
SAMANTHA: (still angry). Oh, you've got some nerve. First off, you haven't the slightest indication what exactly my emotions are about this. Secondly, it's more than a bit hypocritical to suggest I'm the type of girl who must “resort” to a blind date, or to even think that perhaps I myself had nothing better to do and wanted an evening of mindless entertainment.
JOHN: Except, you already said you had more pressing matters.
SAMANTHA: I've had it. It was... nice to meet you.
JOHN: Come on now, this isn't so bad, is it? At least we've cut through all the artificial bullshit date questions. Can you tell me the last person who induced such a torrent of strong emotions from you?
SAMANTHA: I could, but I don't think you'd be pleased with the comparison.
JOHN: What's the worst that could happen here? You walked in here attempting to make a connection impossible. Everything I've said you've turned into a personal attack. You had no intention of making any kind of effort. Now, if you'll promise to take down the high-maintenance holier-than-thou mask, I'll promise to give you a great evening of mindful entertainment.
SAMANTHA: I will sit down, but only because I promised Emily I'd give you at least 30 minutes.
JOHN: So I've got 30 minutes to sweep you off your feet.
SAMANTHA: They're planted firmly in the ground.
JOHN: Well I'll start by telling you what I like about you.
SAMANTHA: Flattery will get you nowhere.
JOHN: I think you're smart. You're obviously passionate. And you're beautiful. Why are you here?
SAMANTHA: I told you, I promised Emily.
JOHN: No, I mean, you are SO beautiful. Usually girls that gorgeous have one or ten men to occupy their time, or they're too busy with work to care what they look like.
SAMANTHA: (blushes). So maybe flatter will get you somewhere.
JOHN: Oh no, don't tell me.
SAMANTHA: (worried). What?
JOHN: You're one of them.
SAMANTHA: One of who?!
JOHN: Them. One of the “she dont know she's beauitful” type of girls. The ones they sing about in country songs.
SAMANTHA: I don't even like country music.
JOHN: You're really not making this easy on me.
SAMANTHA: And I have no intention to do so.
JOHN: Why are you so dead-set on this failing?
SAMANTHA: And you say I'm impossible to please. I'm sitting here, conversing with you. What more do you want exactly?
JOHN: Show some interest?
SAMANTHA: Then be interesting.
JOHN: Well alright then. I'm a lawyer.
SAMANTHA: (impressed.) Are you?
JOHN: No. I was conducting a test to see if you're as shallow as you act.
SAMANTHA: Could you please explain to me how you intend on winning my affections by degrading, humiliating and LYING to me?
JOHN: I'm just saying, if you put a fourth of the emotion into giving me a chance as you do getting pissed off, this could work.
SAMANTHA: After all that, why do you want this to work?
JOHN: Well, why not? Like I said, you're beautiful. You make me laugh.
SAMANTHA: I make you laugh at me!
JOHN: It's good for the soul either way.
SAMANTHA. You're impossible.
JOHN: Well, then we have a lot more in common than you thought.
[Waitress appears.]
WAITRESS: How are you two this evening?
JOHN/SAMANTHA: Fine.
WAITRESS: Alright... Well, my name is Kelly and I'll take care of you tonight. Can I start you off with a soda?
JOHN/SAMANTHA: Coke is fine.
WAITRESS: Aw, that's so cute, you two saying the same thing at once like that.
Samantha sighs and glares at John while he chuckles. Waitress exits.
JOHN: See, we just met and we already know what the other is thinking.
SAMANTHA: If that were true, you'd be long gone by now.
JOHN: So catty. Are you ever going to have a regular conversation with me?
SAMANTHA: Why are you so dead set on the stereotype of getting to know me? If you can give me one excellent reason why it would be a great idea for me to bare my soul to you. If you can say why it's worth it for me to put forth all the effort of telling you my deep dark secrets just so I can go home feeling vulnerable and wait a couple days for a call that won't come, and then be angry with myself for opening up to you then I'll take it into consideration.
JOHN: We could be soul-mates.
SAMANTHA: Ha.
JOHN: I'm serious. You never know until you give it the chance.
SAMANTHA: If that were the case, then I'd be giving strange men on the subway “a chance.”
JOHN: Is the idea of growing old with me so terrible to you?
SAMANTHA: The idea of talking to a man I just met about growing old together is a little horrifying, yes.
JOHN: Besides the fact that this is all hypothetical, weren't you the one who was just chastizing me for sticking to the conventionalism of dating? It doesn't hurt to think about.
SAMANTHA: Are you saying you like me?
JOHN: I find you intriguing.
SAMANTHA: Well you find me intriguing now. Wait awhile. I have mood swings, I'm needy, I'm jealous. I eat when I'm upset. You won't like me when I'm older and fatter. What you've learned on this... date, if you could call it that, isn't enough for you to give me any kind of guarauntee. And I'm much too cautious to do anything without a gaurauntee.
JOHN: If you want a guarauntee, you've got it.
SAMANTHA: No!
JOHN: I thought you said you wanted gaurauntee.
SAMANTHA: I do, but if you're so easy to give it to me then it's not legitimate.
JOHN: I said it was, it is.
SAMANTHA: And you've lied before. How do I know you won't lie again?
JOHN: See, we already sound like an old couple.
SAMANTHA: Okay, we'll do this your way. How many children do you want?
JOHN: How many do you want?
SAMANTHA: See, this only furthers my point. You're already compromising your life's desires to fit the possibility of what mine are. You will continue to do this, because you want me. And because you have offered me this gaurauntee, you are obligated to do such. In the end though, you'll resent me for it. And in 20 or 30 years, when I've had the chance to fall in love with you, you'll end up being a bitter old man who only harbors resentment for me. Eventually you'll leave me cold, alone and much too old to have a chance to love ever again.
JOHN: I see you've thought this through.
SAMANTHA: Oh, I have. And is it really worth all this to end up ruined for everyone else?
JOHN: While all that may be true, you admitted that you could fall in love with me. We could have a house in the country with children and live happily ever after.
SAMANTHA: I much prefer the city, and don't even get me started on the kids.
JOHN: An apartment in the city then! And what about the kids?
SAMANTHA: Why, anything could happen. One could die at birth, which would of course send the other into a spiraling depression and in her confusion with life and death she'll be led to a life of crime that could only result in a series of five or so murders commited along the coast of the Mississippi River!
JOHN: That's not even remotely likely.
SAMANTHA: But it could happen.
JOHN: Samantha, I could give you everything you've ever wanted. I could make you happy, and I would. We'd have everything, you and me, if you gave it a chance.
SAMANTHA: John. This is our first date. And if I'm not mistaken your thirty minutes are up.
Samantha gets up to leave.
JOHN: And how did I fare.
SAMANTHA: Not too well, but you put forth a valiant effort. Although you did try, this is it.
John stands up to tell her goodbye. He leans in for a soft hug.
JOHN: This isn't the end, Alex gave me your phone number.
END.